How do I recover from an awkward interaction with a peer?

Let’s set the scene with an extremely common scenario I’ve come across time and time again…

So I had a meeting with a peer and I thought we had a good relationship but it was so awkward. I feel like I overstepped somewhere, I don’t really know what happened. Now, I’m really not looking forward to the next interaction.. what do I do?

We’ve all been there, we’ve all had that very human moment where something is just… off.. So start by checking your perception. Ensure you’re looking at the situation for what it is, not worse than it is. If your thoughts are spiraling, then you are indeed in a loop of worse than it is. To get yourself thinking more productively, write down the behaviours that you saw in the interaction only and fact check yourself.

Next, remind yourself that (generally) there aren’t any situations that you can’t come back from. Relationships are continual cycles of connection and disconnection, being in sync and out of sync. What matters is that you recognise it’s a cycle, not a permanent break in the chain.

When people describe feeling awkward, I often hear the following …

I was caught off guard
I was unsure about the best way to respond
I felt I was witnessing to something I shouldn’t
I felt I was on the spot and I didn’t know the right thing to say

and this often results in…

Long silences with a stunted restarts of the conversation
Abrupt changes of topic
Attempts to make jokes to lighten the mood

So if you feel your behaviour influenced an interaction that led to awkwardness, don’t beat yourself up about it. You’ve got two choices: let it go or tackle it. If you think you need to tackle it then here’s a way to bring it up.

“Hey the other day in the meeting I felt we ended that conversation abruptly. I’m not sure if you felt the same way, but I just wanted to raise it with you because I respect our relationship and want to understand your perspective”

Something like that opens the door for the conversation with the other person. Maybe you have a shared understanding, maybe you don’t. However by bringing it up in a conversational way, you won’t eat yourself up inside.

If you don’t feel like you can bring it up – because maybe you don’t have the relationship – ask someone who does know them well and that you can trust. Get their view on how to best work with that person, while you build that relationship.

Catch those moments while they are small and manageable. Then give yourself a high five for dealing with it!

– okay I’m off to pick up my dinner, souvlaki and chippies! Cherish ✨

Hey! I’m Cherish and I write a blog called So, How’s Work Going? I’ve been working in people and culture (HR) for a while now and you start to see some patterns in what people find difficult to navigate at work. So, this is me sharing advice both through my professional and lived experience as well as stories and insights from others along the way.